I’ve been watching my reality quite a bit lately (I don’t really have a choice considering that’s all I see anyway) and I’ve been noticing a lot of reflections of myself “searching for God”. This is great because at least we’re beginning to admit that there might actually be something to search for…but there is a problem. The problem is that we’re “searching” and that in itself distracts us from the truth right in front of us.
It’s very much like looking for your sun-glasses when their sitting on your head…you can’t find them because you’re busy looking somewhere else. It isn’t until you stop looking that you can feel their presence…and so it is with “God”. How can you search for something that’s always present?
Of course this is not always easy to remember when you are surrounded by things claiming to be the one and only source of God’s word…books, courses, audio tapes, seminars, and so on. But if “God” is everything, then it is certainly not limited to one or two methods of communication…in fact, it isn’t limited at all and can communicate through anything and any time.The real trick is listening to what is there rather than what you want to be there…and that is not always easy.
The term “awareness” comes to mind here because to be aware of your own thoughts (their nature more than the details) is the only true way to separate what is from what you want. This is not a part-time job however…you cannot choose certain times of the day to be aware and other times to be blissfully ignorant. What I’m saying is that you cannot choose the lessons you want to learn and ignore the ones that are uncomfortable. Either you are truly being aware or you are saying you’re only aware enough to make yourself feel better and look better in front of others.
I’ve met hundreds of people who claim to be “spiritualists”, “hippies”, “Buddhists”, “Christians”, and even “Guru’s”…but being aware means realizing that the need for a label is exactly that…it is a perceived need (rather than true need…food/water/air/etc). Need is almost always confused with “want”….if you want to be something, then you’re not happy with what you already are. The idea that we are not an idea can be quite scary and uncomfortable. Unfortunately, this is where we usually get stuck.
“If I can’t describe myself as something, how do I tell others what I’m all about?”
Well, you can’t…but then again, why do you need to? Truly, when you are content to be silent (content to simply be) you are being aware…otherwise you’re just trying to convince yourself that you are aware.
Back to my original question though…how can you recognize the lessons that are actually there from the ones that you want to be there? Stop wanting the lessons…needing lessons is the same as any other need, it is there to perpetuate the belief that you do not know the answers already. The hardest thing in the world is accepting that you are already what you want to be…the search itself is the perfect way to escape that responsibility.
Just for the sake of experiment, try going through your average day while believing that you need nothing, you are everything, and you are simply here to experience. Let go of the idea that there are lessons, let go of the search for answers…just be. In this state of mind synchronicity becomes rampant…literally, everything seems to tie to the “thoughts” going through your head. Why? Because the thoughts are free flowing…you’re not trying to control them or shape them to a specific end…thus, they are now moving in synch to the reality around you.
Trust me, you will see more about yourself in this frame of mind then you ever will while trying to “find god/yourself”. If you stop looking, everything becomes clear. This applies to everything…music, movies, conversations, etc. Don’t worry about the stuff that you’re “not catching” because you are always catching what you need to. This is when you start noticing the connection between yourself and reality…but beware the need to analyze (this is another attempt to control).
Just a brief example…earlier this week I was sitting in my living room just drifting in thought, the radio was on but I really wasn’t paying attention to it. Thoughts were flowing freely…having no particular direction or reason and I was once again faced with the possibility that it might just be me and that all of us are “me” (a singular consciousness….not “Ray”). This is entirely possible…it could just be “me” in the universe and everything else is created by my mind to make me feel less alone…it may not seem likely, but the possibility itself is very uncomfortable and therefore worth exploring.
Just as this thought was flying through my head I became aware of the song that was playing in the background…quite literally the words were “There is no you, there is only me”. Creepy? A little…but this is a perfect example. This stuff happens all the time…these are the words of God. When you stop “trying to listen” you are actually listening…your thoughts and insights will tie to reality completely when you stop trying to shape them and just let them flow as they are meant to.
Reality is meant to flow as it should…your thoughts are the same. It’s very much like floating down a fast river…when you struggle against the current you hit rocks and trees and hurt yourself a great deal, but when you relax and go with the current you have a much easier time.
Just surrender to the current that is yourself…after that, the answers are always in front of you